Here comes probably one of the most difficult parts of the deployment. Whether it’s your first time or not, reintegrating into your home life can be very different from one deployment to the next. Current goings on in the family and circumstances play an integral role.

There are so many variables. You’re so excited to be going home. The event is so welcomed. You’ve been looking forward to this day and once it arrives, you don’t realize how different things are now. Small issues frustrate you; other drivers, bad service, long lines. Home life is not what it was or how you remember it.

Having gone through it several times, I know it takes a conscious effort to act and react appropriately. You have to allow yourself time to reintegrate and adjust. I call it changing gears. Mind you, I’m a great stick-shift driver; just ask me! But after returning from a deployment, I can shamelessly say that I have subscribed at times to the philosophy of gears, “If you can’t find them, grind them.” Now no one likes to treat their vehicle in such a fashion but in an effort to keep the vehicle in motion, a grinding of the gears is sometimes necessary.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about:

I arrived late into Baltimore Washington International Airport so I was required to spend the night there. No problem really… about 28 hours of travel and several stops and we finally arrived a little after 7 p.m. I was eager to get to my hotel, shower, change and enjoy my first meal home; for me a glass of red wine and a good steak.

From my flight, there were many service members and families traveling from overseas bases now waiting on their bags to arrive on the carousel. After several minutes, bags trickled in but only a few. Impatience was beginning to stir. Later flights arrived and passengers had no issues with retrieving their bags and leaving before us. An hour passed and frustration set in. I saw several service members asking for assistance or an explanation for the delay. It seems bags were trickling in on two separate conveyor belts, which only added to the confusion and frustration. Another hour passed and still many of us waited on our luggage. I attempted to stay distracted by activating my cell phone and making a couple of phone calls.  But after two hours, I began to realize I would arrive late to the hotel and that image of a glass of red wine and steak was quickly dissolving.

Okay, I’ve just spent the last year in an environment where processes flow effortlessly, surrounded by professionals and subject matter experts, in a place where orders are issued and action is immediately begun. In that kind of environment, you have a heightened sense of awareness. When you spend countless hours outside the wire, you become a forward thinker.  You plan accordingly. During PCIs (pre- and post-combat inspections), you see caveats, pitfalls or obstacles and you quickly and easily find solutions.  Time is important; schedules, suspenses, results are consistent.

I ask myself, why would the routine action of unloading baggage in a timely fashion become such a daunting task, especially when the same contractor is able to unloaded bags from other flights?

That’s when I know it’s time to shift gears. This time it’s a conscious decision, or in other words, “If you can’t find them, grind them.”

At this time I’m two and a half hours into this process to no avail.  Okay, scale back your expectations, I tell myself.  Understand you don’t influence or control this environment.  Accept it and re-think your dinner options.  Keep your cool.

Finally the bags arrive.  After a fight for a taxi or hotel shuttle, another hour passed and I arrived at the hotel at 10:45 p.m. Room service closed in 15 minutes. No wine and no steak available.

Change gears again…Angus burger and beer it is.

I get to the room, shower and settle in. Room service is late; it’s midnight now. My burger arrives but no beer. Delivery guy says he’ll be right back. He never returns.

I shifted gears many times between 7 p.m. and midnight, never losing my cool or getting overly excited. But it was done consciously; a focused effort. Again, if you can’t find them, grind them.

Dealing with all those inefficiencies, the ineffectiveness, poor processes and customer service, was frustrating. It was a crash landing upon arrival, so to speak. Nevertheless it was an excellent snapshot and opportunity for me to understand I’m no longer down range. I’m in someone else’s domain. I have to adjust accordingly, to find my niche.

It’s good to be home; truly! Turning down the Spidey senses and accepting the changes will come. Rest and relaxation; I can’t wait!

I was Jittery, anxious, and overall excited! I couldn’t wait to arrive back home. The long-anticipated date had finally arrived. But this time would be different than previous deployments. Chrissy, my wife, is still deployed and the kids are with Grandpa and Grandma so there would be no immediate family to greet me at the airport.

The circumstances created a void in my arrival and weighed heavily on my thoughts. Idealistically, we all… or at least I have always looked forward to having the kids run into my arms cheering, “Daddy!” and the wife, misty eyed, following behind.  But the fairy tale arrival would not be for me this time around.

Instead, my arrival home was more similar to that of a single Airman who does not have a significant other waiting on his return. I’ve been accustomed to having family present when I arrive from a deployment and this tour’s change of events left me feeling a bit down. But I was greatly appreciative of the supervisors, co-workers and friends who did come out to see me safely home. I would not arrive unwelcomed.

I have great thanks for my Air Force Intelligence, Reconnaissance and Surveillance Agency family who showed up with great smiles and hugs to welcome me home, not to mention those close friends who also made the trip to see me arrive. You guys Rock! After a long year, it was great seeing you there and knowing that I had not been forgotten.  Thanks again.

On the flip side: I’ve thought extensively of my wife’s arrival early next year and what the kids and I can do to make it as special as possible. I think she’s going to enjoy it!

The day has come to begin my journey home.  In a sense, I can’t believe this day has arrived.

I pull chalks today and head for home.  My 72-hour bag is packed with all the essentials: flashlight, locks for the bags, snacks (beef jerky, granola bars), towel/shower shoes, a small amount of toiletries, MP3 player, PC w/movies and study material, clothing, and pocket money.

I’m going to miss my guys and the NATO Training Mission – Afghanistan family.  We’ve had some great successes this past year.  The joint and coalition environment always brings a unique variable to deployments, seeing other nations and services operate and observing their intricacy is a treat in itself.  Some days you wipe your brow and say, “I’m glad I’m in the U.S. Air Force!” Others, you ask why we don’t do things like XXX?  Either way the experience is irreplaceable.

I out-processed my camp in less than a day; the process was quite quick and simple.  My roommate is departing the same day so packing out and cleaning the place up for departure worked out rather well too.  Sadly, I only had a day and half with my replacement, but the planning and hard work I put in the last few days will help him be successful.

Most of my team was from other services so I may not have the pleasure of serving alongside them again. I’m very proud of them for having the ingenuity of finding a creative yes, the tenacity to find a solution, and the commitment to the mission.

I’m desperate to reach the transit center at Manas and drop off all this Army gear; four bags worth!!!  Some subscribe to the philosophy, “I rather have it than need it once I’m downrange.” And though I agree, I will say that today’s military needs to streamline that process. We need to do a better job of thoroughly understanding what our service members need downrange for the jobs they’re performing.  As for me, those four bags have remained under my bed for the majority of my tour.

Nevertheless, deployment number six is under my belt! Like other deployments, I’ve learned so much and have grown as a senior NCO. I can’t say enough good things about my team and NTM-A. I’m proud to have served with such great Americans.

To my brothers and sisters in arms – and my amazing wife too: Aim high…Fly, Fight, Win!

The day is nearly here when I become the stay-at-home spouse and my wife is the deployed military member. My wife has looked forward to this day. She wants to ensure I thoroughly understand the great obstacles and feats she’s had to overcome with my previous deployments.

I must say, she’s managed to develop some sort of anxiety in me. Wait until you have to get up in the middle of the night and drive a sick child for care.  Enjoy all the household chores on your own, etc…

What I dread is arriving to an empty house first.  Chrissy moved out our entire house all by herself prior to her departure. So I get the great pleasure of moving everything back in – a more difficult task I believe. Packing is much easier since everything goes into a box vs. unpacking where all items have a place in the house. I’m really not looking forward to this.

If I’ve learning anything from reading my wife’s blog posts, it’s don’t try to do everything yourself!  So I’ve enlisted the support of my older and younger brothers to help… whew, both agreed to assist.

These last few days I’ve been coordinating with TMO and outbound assignments on getting not only our household goods released from non-temporary storage, but also picking up a few things from grandpa and grandma’s house too.  I’ve also given a considerable amount time to thinking about and discussing with grandpa and grandma, a transition strategy for the kids.

What is the right amount of time to spend with kids before moving back home? How will this affect them in school? What plans to they have for my return?

My kids and their emotional wellbeing has rested heavy on my mind. I want to ensure I mitigate their stress to the lowest level possible and ensure their transition is as fluid as possible. I hope I’ve put the correct recipe in place to be successful. We’ve made calendars, counted days, talked about our activities when I return, involved them in the decision process, sent pictures of their new school and day care and old friends. Now it’s time to put it all together as we start the move home.

And as for my lovely wife, I think she’s basking and relishing what awaits me. I’m extremely grateful for all she’s done on my previous deployments. I hope to make her proud when she returns.

Maybe now we’ll have some more common ground, after I see where she’s been as a mom and she see’s where I’ve been as the deployer.  Hopefully now I’ll understand her and she’ll understand me just a little bit better than we did before.

It’s been a long year, but it’s not quite over yet.

My roommate is departing the same day I am and every morning he reminds me how many days are left. People around camp ask, “How many more days do you have left Master Sergeant?”  I never really did any countdowns on previous assignments.  I know why now, as it makes the time drag out.

I must say I’m rather burnt out. The ops tempo never really slows and from the look of things I have a very short turnover with my replacement.  That means instead of counting the days, I have to make these last few days count.  I’m conducting training with junior members, creating continuity books, and ensuring I have a good product to give my replacement if I only get a day with him or her.

The days are still long –rise early, arduous day, and late to bed. Even for the most motivated, it’s a struggle.  At this point of the deployment you have to dig deep to finish strong – a task I’m having a little difficulty with this time around.

I’ve caught myself daydreaming here lately…

I’m beginning to shift gears and prep myself for home life and work back home. I see myself with the kids; getting them ready for school, at the park, cooking as they pester me for a snack, chasing them around the house to get them into the bath, saying our prayers at night.  It warms my heart!  There’s so much to look forward to.  But first I have to make the switch from the “battlefield mind” to building up my “kid fitness level” and enjoying the pleasures of fatherhood.

Something I had not experienced on previous deployments was how difficult it is to speak to my wife about returning home when she still has four months to go herself. She’s happy for me and the kids, but I can see and hear her sadness when we speak of all the things I have to do. She has to be somewhat jealous as well because I’m going to see the kids soon. On previous deployments we shared in the joy of my return.  It’s a little different this time around as I have to be sensitive to the four months she still has ahead of her, and not easy ones at that. She’ll miss trick-or-treating, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  Chrissy is extremely big on family holidays.

But back to work for me now. The day has only started and I’m day dreaming again of having my family back together again. Soon enough! The mission is not complete and I have to setup the next rotation for success!

Today I saw the ugly side of this war/conflict – whatever we’re supposed to call it now. A couple of days ago, a civilian bus hit an IED (improvised explosive device) meant for U.S. and coalition forces. The bus was filled with mostly parents and their children.

This morning, a small group of us women went over to the Afghan hospital to see if we could help. There were so many women on the bus who had not yet been able to bathe and had requested women help them rather than the male hospital workers. While the doctors did what they could to mend their wounds and broken bones, most still had on their bloody and torn clothes. I saw a mom who lost five children, and a little 7- or 8-year-old girl who was in so much pain, we could not yet clean her up.

We met a mom with a broken jaw and her 2-year-old baby with two broken legs. The baby has been waking up crying and clinging to her mom ever since the accident. We couldn’t get her changed either because she was still so nervous around people and most likely in pain because of her legs. We did what we could to get the mom more comfortable. She was amazingly kind and strong. Her husband was there watching over them and it was very endearing to see them together.

We met another 6- or 7-year-old who let us clean her up. She was able to sit up with some assistance. With the help of our interpreter and the girl’s father, we were able to put her at ease after they explained why we were there. I had brought some of my Bath and Body Works lotion thinking the girls might like it, since my daughter does, and we finally struck gold! Once we finished cleaning the little girl, we put on some of the coconut mango body lotion and she loved it so much, we got a smile. It really lifted our spirits to see that.

We brought stuffed animals, books and changes of clothes, all of which were very appreciated. This was another one of those experiences I will probably not ever forget. I’m sure I will keep that short smile close to my heart for a very long time.

As a woman and as a mom with young children, this was a hard morning. But I would go back a hundred more times for just one more smile. I hope she knows there are people out there who care.